


LA Fairytales

by justhuman



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Costume Parties & Masquerades, F/F, F/M, Halloween
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-09-14
Updated: 2003-09-14
Packaged: 2017-10-29 06:08:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/316620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justhuman/pseuds/justhuman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the the Wes Ficathon - spoilers through <i>Home</i></p><p>Warnings: Schmoop, well, schmoopy for Wes and Lilah. Oh, and some really schmoopy femslash in the background, but just a little, and in the background.  Did I mention that <span><a href="http://jslayeruk.livejournal.com/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://jslayeruk.livejournal.com/"><b>jslayeruk</b></a></span> signed her request, <i>Hugs & Puppies</i>...</p><p>Okay, consider yourself warned :-)</p>
            </blockquote>





	LA Fairytales

  


"Lilah, why don't we just go? We've put in an appearance and no one has approached either of us except _those girls_."

"I could use another glass of champagne." Having heard her decision, Wesley gave a brief sigh and began looking for a waiter, while Lilah continued. "The annual Wolfram & Hart Halloween Masquerade is a big deal to our clients and that hasn't changed now that the firm is Wolfram, Hart and Angel. Halloween is the most boring supernatural night of the year, so it's the perfect opportunity for everyone to take the night off and meet and greet. And Wes, don't tell me that you're not having fun with our costume?"

Lifting two glasses off of a passing tray, Wesley returned Lilah's smile with one of his own. If pressed, he would admit to getting a somewhat childish thrill out of their current arrangement.

"Shall I find us a table, so that we can have a better view of the crowd?" Before Lilah could answer, Wesley found that one of the champagne glasses was being pulled from his hand. Letting go, so that it wouldn't spill, Wesley turned to face a teen-aged Red Riding Hood in a bodice that was seemingly three sizes too small, based on the amount of flesh bulging out of the top.

"Thanks! I really needed this, and the waiters seem to think that if you're dressed like a kid, then you must be one." With a dismissive wave, she downed half the glass of champagne, briefly choking on it. Wesley took that moment to roll his eyes at Lilah, who simply replied with a wink. Regaining her composure, the slayer, and Wesley was sure that she was one of them, continued speaking at close to the speed of light.

"So." She gestured at Wesley's costume. "Boots, tights, green tunic thing, and _such a great big axe._ " The last words were spoken slowly with what was probably intended, but failed, to be a sultry look. "You must be a woodsman. Kinda funny that, since I'm Red Riding Hood - makes it seem like we were meant to be together."

Wesley had heard similar conclusions from Snow White, Gretel, Beauty, Red-Rose and a misguided Dorothy, who thought Wesley sould have been dressed in silver. "I'm not sure that I would believe that two people were meant to be together based on their selection of masquerade costumes. That would be placing far too much reliance on fairy tale archetypes and motifs." Wesley could see her eyes glazing over, but he continued nonetheless. "I can assure you that most successful relationships do not rely on those principles. And as it happens, I'm not dressed as a woods-"

"Hey!" Red Riding Hood exclaimed as if a thought suddenly occurred to her. Wesley agreed that if a thought had actually occurred to the girl, it would be a rare moment worthy of celebration. However, she continued-revealing that her not so sudden revelation was yet another attempt by Willow and Fred to _move Wesley on from morbid fascinations to more wholesome pursuits._ Or, as they put it, _quit the ooginess with the dead woman and get over the whole bad-ass scruffy thing._

"Hey!" she exclaimed again. "Someone told me that there was a Watcher in the crowd that was dressed as a woodsman. It so happens that I'm a slayer."

"Really." Wesley feigned surprise. "As it happens, I'm not a watcher, but an ex-watcher. It also happens that I was also given a woodsmen's costume, but I modified it because it didn't fit my image." Not having been prepared for this possibility, the girl stood slack jawed beneath her red hood.

"You see," Wesley continued, "I had the good fortune to have the right type of _props_ lying about." Handing the girl his other glass of champagne, Wesley reached back, pulling an executioner's hood over his head and at the same time, lifting Lilah's head from the basket strapped to his waist.

"Oh sweetie, watch the wig, you're holding me by just the wrong spot." Lilah smiled directly at the girl, whose face slowly contorted from confusion to horror. "This new ability to detach my head has really opened up new avenues in costuming. What do you think? Mary Queen of Scots, except my headsman got the job done in one mighty blow." Lilah glanced adoringly into Wesley's face.

There was the sound of breaking glass as Red lost her grip on the champagne and rapidly backed away to the mild amusement of the nearby party guests. As many of them had additional appendages and scales, most were not phased or impressed with disembodied talking heads. Chuckling, Wesley and Lilah watched the slayer run all the way back to grandmother's house, or in this case, Willow's side. The witch, who was dressed as a fairy godmother, tugged on her lover's arm. Wesley watched the expression on Fred's pumpkin-orange face fill with anger as she began stalking towards them.

Pushing back the hood, Wesley said, "It would seem a retreat is in order, love. Shall we reacquaint your head to its body?" Wesley could see Lilah weighing the options and calculating the odds before her head jerked forward suddenly, in a move that Wesley interpreted as a nod.

The crowd parted for the unusual pair-Lilah's head, held aloft in Wesley's hand, surveying the room. "I thought Fred was coming as a frog."

Wesley climbed the grand staircase towards the mezzanine. "Last minute change--apparently, Willow had issues with the costume. I haven't seen it, but I've heard they're continuing with their original plan. Willow periodically turns the pumpkin into her princess and then back again."

Lilah winced. "Would she be using a Hitachi Magic Wand?"

Wesley laughed as he gently lowered Lilah's head back into the basket. Elegantly draped in an Elizabethan gown, the lady's familiar headless body was revealed behind the closet door.

"You keep the most interesting things in your closets."

Smiling down into the basket, Wesley asked, "I asked you if you wanted to play in the one in my bedroom. Your body has been here all afternoon. Do you thing I should do a manual inspection? You know, just to make sure everything is all right?"

"Very tempting, but maybe later when we don't have pissed off witches and scientists after us," Lilah said.

With exquisite care, Wesley returned her smiling face to its proper spot above her neck. Their eyes met for perhaps a moment too long. Clearing his throat, Wesley glanced away first.

"I brought you a present."

"Hitachi Magic Wand?" Lilah smiled coquettishly.

Obviously amused, Wesley took Lilah's hand and pulled her onto a nearby bench. "You bruise my ego, madam."

"Fear not, valiant huntsman; I never think of electrical or battery operated appliances when we're together. Now what was that about presents?"

Kissing Lilah's cheek, Wesley slid gracefully to one knee and began reaching into the leather pouch at his waist.

"You know, it angered me greatly when a certain prudish scientist decided that the security protocols should prevent soul-indentured creatures from entering."

Lilah's hand fidgeted nervously in Wesley's. "Well, it's not like this is the first Masquerade where that protocol was invoked, but we seem to have blown holes in it. You know, I've never liked the idea of being used as a pawn. It's surprising how much I don't mind being your _prop_ tonight."

"You're much more than a prop to me, Lilah." She didn't have to breathe, but Wesley could see them coming in shallow gasps. "Not that you haven't earned it, but I didn't care for them casting you in the role of the wicked witch tonight."

"Wesley..."

He hid his amusement at her growing discomfort. From his pouch, Wesley removed a pair of three-inch stiletto healed pumps, seemingly made of glass. Lilah blinked and then a wide smile spread across her face.

"They look like they might hurt."

"Oh ye of little faith. You do know that glass and fur are pronounced the same in French? It was really a sloppy translation job when they brought the tale into English." Slipping off Lilah's period shoes, Wesley dug a massaging thumb into her instep, eliciting a grateful moan.

Holding up the glass shoe, Wesley flexed it in the middle. "These are a bit of a magic novelty. Look of glass-"

"Ahh, and feel of mink." Lilah purred, turning her now glass-shod foot and showing off her pedicure.

Repeating his treatment on her other foot, nibbling her toe for good measure, Wesley tucked the old shoes into the pouch and stood, extending his hand. "Your Majesty, might I have this dance?" Wordlessly Lilah rose into his arms.

"I've heard this song a hundred times. I even like it, but I couldn't tell you a word." Manicured nails scratched the back of Wesley's neck. In turn, he tightened his grip along her waist.

"Something about devotion across time and to the ends of the earth." Wesley's voice grew softer as he leaned his face closer.

"But I bet the writers still had _until death us do part,_ in mind." Green eyes dropped to study her lover's shoulder, but Wesley's fingers were just as quick, to raise Lilah's chin.

"We'll have to make up our own words then." The long slow kiss lasted beyond the song as Wesley and Lilah glided across the carpeted floor.

**Author's Note:**

> The challenge was written for [](http://jslayeruk.livejournal.com/profile)[**jslayeruk**](http://jslayeruk.livejournal.com/)
> 
> Character: Lilah  
> Genre - Dark comedy. Funny... but you know you shouldn't be laughing.  
> Season - 5.  
> Rating - Hard R? But then again, a dark comedy tends to invoke squickiness (not *literal* squick, cause eww.) so pretty much anything goes.
> 
> Restrictions - Don't want porn. Or Season 1 AtS, since I missed half of it (darned C4...).
> 
> Desires - Schmoop. Schoomp good. I want Wesley. But that's obvious, since it's a Wesficathon. Hmm... can you *give* me Wesley? Cause, that's a desire... *winks*
> 
> Huge thanks and hugs to [](http://mpoetess.livejournal.com/profile)[**mpoetess**](http://mpoetess.livejournal.com/) for the beta-read and the hand holding.


End file.
